Well let's put Princess Nicola's TV fiasco behind us shall we.
Being the finest politician of my generation I have quickly developed a new plan. And here it is:
My tartan hordes hate the Tories. Always have, always will.
The press have swallowed my call for a TV debate but they want me to debate Alistair Darling, ex Labour Chancellor, all round good bloke and leader of the No Campaign. The result would be a debate filled with reason, facts and extremely difficult questions that I can't or won't answer. Oh no. That won't do.
No, I want to debate David Cameron, the evil Sheriff of Bullingdon himself (boo). That way all reason and logic goes straight out of the window and the closed, narrow minds of the watching masses will be filled with memories of Edward I, Margaret Thatcher and the Poll Tax. I'll employ my full suite of chippy, emotional jingoisms and send the public school oppressor homewards to think again. Thus, once more, the people of Scotland will see that I am Robert the Bruce incarnate and that Scotland has once again exacted it's revenge on the Auld Enemy.
Not a reasoned argument or difficult economic question in sight so the plebs stay completely in the dark on the very unpalatable facts surrounding the economy of my not so Free Scotland.
Put on your kilts, paint your faces and numb your brain with ten pints of Tennent's!
Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
Given David Cameron is our PM, it is his responsibility to educate the people of Scotland via facts and figures that Bravebelly is a in fact a class A pork sword!
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