Here's a wee confession.
As you know, I am the finest politician of my generation. Yes, I have to admit that that halls of Westminster are hardly bursting with Gladstones, Bevans and Lloyd Georges so the competition is thin on the ground, but you have to admit that I am a potent mix of political gold and carefully crafted teflon.
There is only really one man I fear. Not Bullingdon. He's too soft. Not Miliband. Wouldn't send the boy to Tesco's for a message. Cable? On his way down with a sinking ship. Farage? Now, he's got potential. No, the one I fear is big and not so daft Boris.
Neo Paxo Eddie Mair did his best to pop the Boris Balloon last week and by God, if that upstart had gone for me in the same way he'd have been on the wrong end of a full blown Bravebelly Wobble I can tell you. But Johnson kept his cool and accepted the kicking, knowing that he can come back and fight another day.
Hence his latest wheeze. A game of ping pong with the pert Pippa Middleton:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/03/pippa-middleton-boris-johnson-ping-pong
Very clever. Very populist. Maybe I should do something similar for my Scottish proles? How about Princess Nicola and John Leslie go curling? Perhaps not. 18 holes with Sean Connery and Elaine C Smith? Yikes! Synchronised skipping featuring Alan Cumming and Gary Tank Commander? The possibilities are endless.
Over to my fellow Greggs afficionado Hislop in Culture for the final word on that one methinks.
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