BANISHED

Good Morning my Kilted Comrades

This is my kind of day. The Auld Enemy are in town for the Calcutta Cup rugby and you can just feel the old nationalistic animosities bubbling under the surface of all that new found sense of friendship and commonality that so blights my divisive plans for a New Mediaeval Scotland.

I had been invited to join the commentary team of Jeremy Gusset and Jon Inversnail. I was looking forward to meeting Gusset as he is my kind of bloke - even although he's English. He has a swagger, some might say arrogance, allied to an obvious and blinkered nationalistic bias. I doubt he's read a book in his life. My kinda guy!

Anyway, the head of sport at the Tory led Unionist BBC has banned me from appearing, for fear that I bring up the subject of Scottish Independence and thus stir up jingoistic division.

Moi! Perish the thought. It just shows you though comrades - the long tentacles of the right wing Westminster Junta can reach even as far as Edinburgh on match day and like William Wallace and Robert the Bruce before me I am to be banished from my own capital city; my own seat of power.

So, my friends, it's off to Cave Freedom to read my copy of every right minded Scot's favourite newspapers, The Scottish Sun and The Times.