IF THE CAP FITS

So I called Ric Bailey of the BBC a "Gauleiter" because he wouldn't let me appear on the BBC's coverage of the Six Nations clash between Scotland and Evil Lord Cameron's Forces of Darkness. They thought I would use the national audience to promote my campaign for a New Mediaeval Scotland instead of offering my unique insights into the finer aspects of the rolling maul.

So what if I called him a "Gauleiter"? 99% of my loyal followers have no idea what that means and the remaining 1% would think I was referring to that French bloke that sells perfume and women's frocks.

 So "Gauleiter" means Nazi district leader. Well, what's all the fuss about?

After all,  I too am a district leader.

I too have followers who label anyone who disagrees with my plans for liberation as traitors (just ask Dear Joan).

I too promote national segregation and division.

I too use irrelevant historical myths to stir up jingoistic irrationality.

I too place nationalism before economic well being.

Nothing wrong with being a "Gauleiter" in my book.