So that Michael Moore thinks that I'm "devoting my time to the picture frame whilst having no painting to put in it."
He's suggesting that we are dodging the difficult questions on a £14bn annual deficit, a New Caledonian currency (the Skinto is still my favoured option), my share of the UK national debt and, of course, our plans for breaking and entering into the EU (bloody Barosso). Who wants to hear that stuff? 16 year olds certainly don't. They like celebrities and holidays so, Princess Nicola and I were merely outlining our plans for "Independence Day" once the referendum is won.
A Yes vote in September 2014, two weeks on the bevvy and then a snap election to vote me in as King/President/Heid Gauleiter etc etc.
Finally, to top it all off we'll have a 50ft statue of yours truly erected in the middle of St Andrew's Square. Ahh, I can see it now. Me, like Robert the Bruce reborn, standing tall, head held high with a trusting, authoritative gaze towards Greggs the Bakers.
That Michael Moore should stick to making films about US gun law and industrial deprivation (come to think of it, he might come in useful on that last one).
If he wants a painting then I'll give him one - of me, grinning like a Cheshire Cat at my new minions. Oh yes Mikey boy, you'll have your picture!
B
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