THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAIL

So, the date of Bannockburn II is fixed. 18th September 2014.

Oh, how my Braveheart swelled at the thought of linking my fight for freedom with Robert I's great victory in 1314.

And it is in the heart, not the head, where the battle must be fought.

And to that end, here is the official briefing. Follow it to the letter or Dear Joan McAggro will be paying you a visit in the early hours of the morning.

There must be no talk of the following:

1.  Free Scotland's choice of currency 

Why - because the Euro is a basket case and no one in their right mind would put themselves or their people in the same position as Cyprus, Greece, Portugal et al.  Moreover, I'd have to submit my annual Scottish budgets to Brussels for their approval. Not exactly independence is it?  We'd be  run by the Germans? They're worse than the English for God's sake.

Why - because keeping the £ makes independence pointless. It simply means that Scotland gives up it's current control of its own currency and any right to a bailout should another Fred the Shred take us to the brink of a credit collapse. The UK would be able to do whatever they wanted with our currency without us being able to do a thing about it. And if Scotland needed a loan and the UK agreed to give one then yes, we'd be at the same risk as Cypriot bank depositors.

Why - because printing our own currency would be about as potent as going to the world bond markets with Monopoly money. Just look at the hiding the £ is taking never mind my Skintos.

Stay schtum.

2.  Free Scotland's share of the UK National Debt

Why - because International Law dictates that I'd be on the hook for £ 150 bn and I'd have no way to pay it. I'd probably have to give the UK the first 30 years of oil revenues which would effectively turn us into Albania.

Silence on this one my friends.

3.  Free Scotland's £ 14bn annual deficit

Why - no one has twigged despite some bampot printing it in our own GERS Report.

In 2009-10, Scotland's estimated net fiscal balance was a deficit of £19.9 billion (17.8 per cent of GDP) when excluding North Sea revenue,  a deficit of £14.0 billion (10.6 per cent of GDP) when an illustrative geographical share of North Sea revenue is included.

(http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2011/06/21144516/1) 

So, I'd have to borrow £ 14bn pa at an interest rate of nearly 5%. How do I pay for that? I can't (not that you will ever hear me admit it).

4.  Free Scotland's Oil Reserves

Why - we have absolutely no certainty about how much oil is left in the North Sea. However, we do know that production peaked in 1999 and is in steady decline. Oil is getting more and more expensive to extract from the North Sea. The new discoveries are smaller and smaller.

Don't let anyone read this by the way. No mention of my predicted boom in this official report. I'll leave Big John to carry the can on that one if the truth gets out.

http://www.oilandgasuk.co.uk/cmsfiles/modules/publications/pdfs/EC030.pdf

Not a word to anyone.

5.  Free Scotland's Private Sector and it's rate of Corporation Tax

Why - remember, the plebs believe that the private sector and my oil revenues will fully fund my Public Sector (the biggest per head in the UK). It won't.

Why - those private companies with material business interests in England will switch their registered offices to there and pay their taxes to the UK govt. It will be safer and cheaper for them to do so. As for the tricky matter of CT - if we keep the £ we will have to knuckle down to the UK rate of CT at best. If we go with the Euro the Germans will allow nothing less than European par so we're snookered again.

 Omerta.

6.  What Free Scotland would be giving up in UK tax revenues

Why - because we would be giving up more than we will get, especially in the coming years as North Sea oil reserves continue to decline. For example, Scotland currently gets 8.4% of the tax revenue from the City of London. That's nearly as much as the entire North Sea tax take so I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face. And that's a price worth paying for freedom.

No one must know about this offset.