A BRAW BRICHT CRISTAL NICHT

Good Day my glorious Wee Willie Wallaces - it is I, Bravebelly.

I was sitting in my cave last night watching a wee spider gainfully trying again and again to make it's web when I suddenly had a thought................good grief it's freezing in here, what's it going to be like when the North Sea oil runs out?

"Don't worry yourself oh glorious one" said Princess Nicola, "The oil will never run out. Remember, you told me so."

At that very moment in rushed big John Swindly, my trusted chancellor at arms. Between you and me I'm not exactly over the moon with Big John ever since he published those figures saying that an independent Scotland would run an annual surplus of £ 1.3m but forgot to say that all the hospitals, schools and roads would have to stay permanently shut to make the numbers work.

Big John wasn't happy. Turns out the Tory led Unionistas at The Financial Times have been printing figures about the depleting oil stocks in the North Sea. A fall of 75% by 2022 and a contribution of only .2% to UK GDP. He said the Oil Times have published the same figures contrasting them with the 2.8m barrels per day being produced by Norway.

"Boss, we cannae hae this!" cried Big John " The Scottish people will be scared when they realise we won't have enough money to pay our £ 14 billion annual deficit. What are we going to dae?"

"Calm down" says I, casually squishing the annoying wee spider under the heel of my shoe. "Tell the Scottish people that every statistic published by the English press and by the Westminster is a lie. A lie written with the specific aim of scaring the Scottish people because they are terrified to their very boots of losing their dynamically inward looking, public sector led neighbour."

"In fact John, I have an even better idea, gather up all the English newspapers you can find. All the economic reports and anything else that sounds English, and let's have a giant bonfire. It worked a treat in Germany in 1939 and it will sure as hell warm up this bloody cave."

That, my fellow freedom fighters, is leadership in action.

Ignorance! Freedom! Poverty!