Angry? I'm way beyond angry, I'm absolutely beelin'........full radge. I'm having a head to toe Bravebelly Wobble.
Here I am sitting reading the GERS Report and what do I find on the very first page?
This:
In 2009-10, Scotland's estimated net fiscal balance was a deficit of £19.9 billion (17.8 per cent of GDP) when excluding North Sea revenue, a deficit of £14.0 billion (10.6 per cent of GDP) when an illustrative geographical share of North Sea revenue is included.
(http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2011/06/21144516/1)
Whit ? Which bampot published this? Whit are they thinking aboot??
The GERS Report is published by the Scottish Government for me - the Scottish Government. If this gets out I'm cooked. Most Scottish people think that oil means a free passport to prosperity. They don't understand the whole concept of deficits. For the sake of freedom, they can never know the truth. Imagine. It would be the start of a vortex of reason that ends up with an independent Scotland up to it's neck in debt and having to borrow £ 14bn - £ 20bn per year at an A+ rated interest rate of 4.5% as opposed the 2% interest rate the AAA rated UK would pay. A dagger to my dear brave heart fellow freedom fighters.
It's quite clear that when I win the referendum I am going to have to appoint a Head of Wasteland Security to prevent such mistakes.
How many times do I have to say it. Forget the numbers. Let's get back to emotion - good old bitterness, resentment and lack of reading up on the facts. That's my stock in trade. Bring on the Westminster lickspittles with their pink newspapers and economic lies. I will put all them to the sword and free our nation from economic recovery........... just as soon as I find the clown that published these figures in my own GERS Report.
Bravebelly
ReplyDeleteThere is a way out of your financial missery!
When the Brits deny you the use of Sterling,
then you can introduce virtual money:The Scottish Bitcoin or alternatively use Monopoly money.
The last resort would be to get on the foreign aid list of Norway,like the poorest of the African countries.
We could of course send you some extra barrels of oil to lubricate your horse carriages in the years to come.
look to Norway!!
Greetings my Scandinavian cousin. I thank you for your comments.
ReplyDeleteYes, the evil Baron Osbourne (boo) is threatening to deny me the use of sterling. Something about our inability to provide sufficient support for our two zombie banks should things go badly again. Naturally, we would be mad to go into the Euro (or the New Deutschmark as the wags around here like to call it). With old Marco Draghi flooding the European banks with his "all in" Cover Bond of £ 1 trillion someone is set to cop it very badly if the banks revert to type and squander his loans.
Anyway, I have a solution. Never mind sterling or the Euro, I propose minting my very own currency - the Skinto (excuse the colloquialism). There will be a picture of a giant wind turbine on one side and, much to my reluctance, a big picture of me on the other side. And here's the best bit. I've spoken to the boys at the Tunnocks factory in Uddingston and they have agreed to create four new jobs - minting my new Skintos from eco friendly chocolate. That way, if the international currency markets don't want to buy my Skintos then the people of Scotland can simply eat themselves out of economic hardship.
My God I'm good.
Anyway, farewell for now my Viking friend.
PS I might want a word with you in a few years time. Our oil is running out and I know that you still have oodles of the stuff. We can perhaps do some kind of deal - your oil for a few tee times at the Old Course in St Andrews. Something like that.
Bravebelly
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed a clever man.
In a few years time we can come over and play two rounds at the Old for a liter of crude.
I am sorry to tell you the reason for which we find so increadibly much crude up in Norway:
We have started to drill horizontally towards Scotland.
You better hurry and scrape it all out whilst you can-
next year there will be nothing left.
By the way-did you know that we just bought Regent Street off the Queen?
Have you got any property up there you want to get rid of?